Winter 2003

Judy Royster

Women are the power and the very foundation of our existence in the world. When women lose touch with their real selves, the harmony of the world ceases to exist, and destruction sets in. It is therefore crucial that women everywhere make every effort to rediscover their fundamental nature, for only then can we save this world.

– Mata Amritanandamayi (Amma), from her acceptance speech upon receiving the Gandhi-King Award for Non-Violence at the Global Peace Initiative for Women Religious and Spiritual Leaders, Geneva, Switzerland, October 2002.

Two months ago I returned to my home in Southborough, Massachusetts, from a one month retreat in South India at the spiritual center (Ashram) of Mata Amritanandamayi, who also called Amma. Amma is a great source of spiritual strength, wisdom and inspiration for me. In her company, I experience the truth and reality of a loving essence that lives within me as a feminine and motherly love of life. I believe Amma is bringing a new awareness of the Mother God to the world of men and women looking for the Divine within our feminine psyches and souls. My experience with her stirred many questions within me.

What is my fundamental nature, as a woman?
For thousands of years, God was Mother Goddess. More than 25,000 years ago (more than 10 times the 2,000 year period between today and Jesus’ birth), a statuette of the Great Mother was carved of limestone. Known as Venus of Willendorf, it is among hundreds of female figurines and symbols discovered from this era. Thus far no images of adult male gods have been found on any of the Neolithic sites, according to Shahrukh Husain, author of The Goddess.

Whether depicted in the Talmud or the Bible, divine manifestations of the feminine are adored, praised, petitioned, revered, honored, worshiped, recognized and celebrated. Feminine figures are described in oral tradition and written works throughout history including: the Aboriginal “Old Woman” or “Great Mother;” Native American “Mother Earth,” “Corn Mother” and “White Buffalo Calf Woman;” Shakti, Kali, Lakshmi and Durga the East Indian Goddesses; Quan Yin the female Buddha of Compassion and Mercy; Tibetan Supreme Mother Tara; Isis the Egyptian Mother of the Gods, Mary the Mother of Christ, Ishtar the Babylonian Queen of Heaven, and Gaia the Greek Earth Goddess (Terra to the Romans). Yet in recent history, our prevailing culture has proclaimed predominately patriarchal interpretations of God and spirituality. Feminine avenues of experiencing the Divine have waned. God has been male and “Father,” and women have lived largely vicarious lives, experiencing fulfillment through the successes of husbands and children. Our spiritual lives have been adopted from the outside, dictated through churches and teachings.

Who is my God and who am I in this sacred relationship?
God is neither male nor female, neither father nor mother. Or rather, our Divine Source is both. Our Spiritual essence, the Supreme Intelligence that organizes our cells and permeates the physical world, the creator and on-going source of all that is, is a Sacred Unity that encompasses both masculine and feminine. I am coming to know this Presence personally as the Mother Love that lives within me, an unconditional love for all life and for myself.

A remarkable shift and re-balancing is occurring. I recognize this in myself, in my women friends and in the collective awareness of our culture. Carol Gilligan’s 1982 study on moral development in women, “In a Different Voice”, demonstrates that unlike the male use of abstract principles in deciding right from wrong, women consistently use relationship and personal responsibility as moral criteria for actions. Collectively we are demanding that our politics and world role include a more feminine approach to decisions and actions, according to Gilligan’s definition.

Personally, I notice my sense of self, my center, and spirituality is becoming more inner directed than outer dictated. My spiritual depth has been won through my awareness in daily life and through the wisdom I have gained in surviving my individual traumas and struggles. This awareness is honed and developed through intimate sharing of my questions and values with other women. Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. author of Goddesses in Everywoman, reports, “by themselves and in groups, women are exploring the spiritual dimension of their lives, praying, meditating, creating ritual, and paying attention to their dreams, symbols, and metaphors.” She observes the common threads in women’s spiritual path – that a woman first stops looking to authority figures outside of herself, and begins to trust her own experiences of the sacred.

From the imbalance of matriarchy through the imbalance of patriarchy, we are now evolving to a whole spirituality that honors the masculine and feminine divine in each of us, male and female. Irene Claremont de Castillejo compared masculine and feminine experience in her book, Knowing Woman. She describes the masculine attitude as one of “focus, division and change,” contrasting this with the feminine attitude of “acceptance” and “awareness of the unity of all life” combined with a openness to relationships. Each attitude can be present in either sex. Claremont de Castillejo continues, describing women’s spirituality as “relationship to God in those intangible, fleeting moments when she is aware of a presence.” She notes that this may be the sudden impact of a white cherry tree in blossom, or the rhythmical furrows of a plowed field. She says that women may experience their relationship to God in a moment of unforgettable union with another human being, or alone in the stillness of her own silence. Her point is that wherever this happens, women always have a relationship formed.

How can I awaken myself to my innate spirituality?
During her recent speech at the UN headquarters in Switzerland, Amma announced that infinite potential inherent in women and men is the same and that women can easily break the rules and conditioning imposed on them by society. She stated that “the greatest strength of women lies in their innate motherhood, in their purity and creative, life-giving power.” It is this power, Amma tells us, which allows women to bring about change in society.

Sherry Ruth Anderson and Patricia Hopkins, co-authors of the book, The Feminine Face of God, conclude that clinging to ideals about how one ought to be blocks the gateway to mystery, while honoring what is personally true in each moment brings one into relationship with the sacred. Hopkins tells of her personal experience hearing an inner voice guide her, “You always think the way to God involves overpowering the natural. You think it means forcing and suffering. Haven’t you learned yet that loving God is as natural and nurturing as sleep? Why do you insist on making it hard?” For many women, the experience of Divine Presence, of belonging, of being fully present in the moment of everything being right and good occurs in nature. During our childhood it may be in relationship to a special tree or private grove or garden, to the enormity of the ocean and pounding surf, or in lying on the earth and watching the clouds drift across a blue sky.

How do these learnings fit into my life?
In my personal practice, spirituality and reality point toward the same thing. The crux of my spiritual life is the process of getting more reality based – becoming more real with myself and with other people. I have come to understand that the error of idolatry is mistaking an object for God, thereby creating a barrier between the reality of the Divine and myself. I also understand the error of spirituality that ascends, lifting up and away from life toward an ideal that is not real. The Feminine Divine pervades life, it is in life, and is juicy, earthy, loving; it is Spirit manifest as the earth, all creatures and all peoples.
While I was on retreat, Amma recounted the following story during a talk one evening to illustrate the fundamental Divine nature of women that we can identify as we bring feminine balance to our culture and our world:

There once was woman whose daily work took her inside a walled city every day. Each evening she would leave to return to her village home and family. The King of the walled city had decreed that the gates be locked every night at 6 and not be opened until 6 the following morning, without his personal consent. The young woman was very vigilant to always leave the walled city before 6 PM until one evening she was detained and found herself at the gatekeepers side just as he was locking the doors for the night.

She pleaded with him telling him how her young son would cry all night if she could not be there to nurse him. The Gatekeeper was resolute and assured her that the King would not make an exception for her. Desperate, the young mother began groping along the high walls in the dark night. She finally found a spot where a crevice gave way for her fingertips. She willed herself off the ground. Movement by movement and breath by breath she sought a higher niche and intently focused on her young son as she scaled the wall’s height. Reaching the top, she pummeled down the other side, made her way through briars and barriers to finally reach her home and family.

Imagine the Gatekeepers surprise the following morning when he found her outside of the gate. He grabbed hold of her and took her immediately to the King who demanded to know how she made her way out of his secure kingdom. She offered to lead him to the spot where she had scaled the wall. The King and his soldiers soon stood before the woman’s avenue of escape. Astounded, the King asked his soldiers to repeat her achievement. No one was successful. At this the King bowed before the woman saying, “It is your Great Love, Oh Mother that has given you the strength and courage to achieve what my army could not. I honor the Divine Mother in you.”

It is the strength of this Mother Love, this unconditional caring and passion for life that is feminine yet can be developed in each person, regardless of gender. It is the power of this Mother Love that will balance the patriarchal spirituality of recent history. This power of the Divine Feminine in women and men can bring peace to the planet, feed the hungry populations, protect endangered species, celebrate diverse culture, bring harmony to the earth’s precious ecosystems, and rejoice in the simple day-to-day occurrences of everyday life.

I am learning more and more to relax - that I don’t have to become anything other than what I deeply already am. I honor my natural impulse as mother to nurture, heal, care for, scale high walls for, appreciate and hold sacred all life and creation. In the end, coming into our full feminine spirituality is as simple as relaxing into our most natural state. It is a process of undoing our places of reaching and achieving, to open to our birthright as the good and whole manifestation of the Divine Feminine that we truly are.

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Judy Royster is an ordained minister, counselor and energy healer with a private practice and regularly scheduled women’s spirituality groups, workshops and retreats at Sacred Spaces in Southborough, Massachusetts. Contact her at homestead@charter.net or 508-624-7519.